The 401(k) Liar

Overland Park, Kan. — Third-party administrators began emerging from offices across the country Friday after the October 15 extended filing deadline for calendar-year plans, cautiously approaching the outdoors and asking colleagues whether the large light in the sky had always been there.

“Was that there in July?” asked Marcy Feldkamp, a senior plan administrator at Tri-County Pension Services, holding one hand above her eyes. “I feel like someone would have mentioned it.”

Feldkamp said her last clear memory of life outside the office involved a barbecue invitation she had declined because things would “settle down after the extensions.” Upon returning home, she was greeted by her husband, two children, and a golden retriever whose onboarding she did not recall approving.

“Apparently we've had him since August,” she said. “I asked for his date of hire.”

At another firm, partner Doug Ostrowski produced a 214-message email thread requesting one sponsor's year-end census. The first message was dated January 6. The data arrived October 14 at 4:52 p.m., as a photograph of a spreadsheet displayed on a second phone.

“In June we sent a singing telegram,” Ostrowski said. “He tipped the singer and said he'd get to it.”

The sponsor, HVAC company owner Ron Gessler, said he had been happy to help. “They asked for it, I sent it, and they filed it,” he said. “That's what I like about this relationship. No drama.”

Gessler added that the invoice seemed high for “uploading a form.”

At firms nationwide, the return to ordinary life proceeded in stages. One administrator attempted to reconcile a restaurant bill to the prior year's total. Another asked her spouse to confirm, in writing, that they had no other children under common ownership.

Friday's National TPA Day observance offered a chance to recognize their contribution. Feldkamp said she would mark the occasion by sitting somewhere without a password.

At press time, her phone had lit up with a message from a sponsor: “Found the other payroll.”